With an inconsequential state election around the corner, Victoria has once against wildly miscalculated the amount of time the rest of the nation spends thinking about them.

After a rough three years in and out of the longest lockdowns in the world, the people of Melbourne City – and its outer suburbs known as rural Victoria – seem to think we are as equally invested in their local politics as we were in their pandemic response.

In an embarrassing but now very common example of Southern self-importance, Victorians have mistaken the natural human emotion of sympathy for genuine interest.

A week out from election day, and the Melbourne-centric Australian media have saturated almost every TV channel and newspaper with irrelevant information surrounding the showdown between Victorian Opposition Leader Matthew ‘Just Try’ Guy and Dan ‘The Most Punchable Face In Australian Politics’ Andrews.

While it is highly likely that Dan Andrews will be re-elected again after working more consecutive days than any public servant in the history of post-Federation Australia during the pandemic, we imagine that even printing this extremely boring information in our newspaper will lull the vast majority of Australians to sleep.

Not even the endless exposès about Nazi-stacking in the Victorian Liberal Party’s pre-selections has been able to move the dial, as the rest of the nation decides to tune out of this endless drama coming from a state that hasn’t offered much to the coffers since the Gold Rush.

Even when pitched as an case study into the upcoming New South Wales and Queensland elections, the parallels do not hold up, as Australians from both sides of politics acknowledge that Victorians are in no way an accurate sample of the nation as a whole.

It seems that not even Sky News can punch up these news stories to the point where they may elicit an emotive response from even the most redneck voters living in the more populated rugby league states.

However, despite the fact that this election is clearly inconsequential to the rest of Australia, The Betoota Advocate will advocate will continue reporting updates – mostly because we feel sorry for the half normal mudbloods in the Goulburn Valley. Also because we get a lot of clicks from offended Victorians.


Please enter your comment!
Please enter your name here