A gilet wearing man who works in our town’s business district has today wowed friends, family, colleagues and acquaintances with the purchase of big shiny new ute.

Brad Short (28) has taken to social media to reveal he’s the proud owner of a 3 litre V6 Turbo-Dickhead-Injection (TDI) Volkswagon Amarok.

“Big truck go vroooooooom” said Brad, who hasn’t had a callus on his hand since he went to the driving range a couple of years ago.

The man who can’t really explain his jobs to any of his mates from school, admitted to The Advocate that he probably doesn’t need a large expensive utility vehicle that he doesn’t have a car park for.

“Bro, it will be very handy when I move,” said Brad, who will almost certainly get removalists to do the bulk of the moving.

“Or when my mates move,” he winked, paying homage to the fact he is always incredible busy whenever any of his friends need to change residences.

“Besides, it will be great for trips away and camping and stuff.”

Brad then decided to run through the features of his Turbo-Dickhead-Injection ute, explaining that he already feels a seething undercurrent of anger whenever he is behind the wheel.

“Yeah I jammed the horn and overtook a young p-plater yesterday cause she didn’t nail a reverse park on her first go,” he laughed.

“God it feels good to be king of the road.”

More to come.


Please enter your comment!
Please enter your name here