EFFIE BATEMAN Lifestyle Contact

A middle aged bloke who spends way too much time on the bowels of the internet has today declared he’s ‘sick to death’ of hearing about all these labels, stating that apparently the young ones are identifying as animals, and even shitting in litter boxes at school.

John Vaughn, a man who used to spout that ‘video games cause violence’, has now found himself constantly fooled by a barrage of misinformation shared on his Facebook by his equally gullible peers, and apparently has never had the thought of doing a simple Google search – because if information is presented in the form of a poorly made, pixelated meme, it must be correct.

“People are identifying as all kinds of shit these days”, says John, shaking his head, “back in my day, we had no labels.”

“You were either a man or a woman, that’s it.”

John is of course, forgetting all about the time when straight men were so eager to distance themselves from being identified as ‘gay’, that they had to come up with a word for straight blokes who didn’t dress like shit.”

“Nah it’s not the same”, says John, despite having taken an instant dislike to his daughter’s boyfriend for wearing pointed shoes, “not the same thing at all.”

More to come.


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