The failed sports-washing attempt that is the 2022 FIFA World Cup has today reached a new low, with another controversial ban being introduced.

With things like hand holding and beer already banned for fans travelling to the Middle Eastern nation, the players have now also been told to fall into line.

Organisers of the event (that at least 8,000 people died preparing for) have now officially banned players from ‘hugging or celebrating in a morally indecent manner.’

This comes days after international captains had been informed that ‘One Love’ armbands and similar political statements would not be allowed during the World Cup.

The armbands were set to be worn in defiance of Qatar’s strict laws which prevent consensual same-sex activities and mandate jail-time as a punishment.

However, it’s not just armbands off the table, with organisers declaring that any players who engage in over the top same-sex celebrations will face jail time.

“Any hugs, kisses and piggy backs will result in jail time for players,” said one of the organisers.

“High fives are acceptable, as long as the contact is no longer than .5 of a second, and no fingers slip in between each other.”

“If any clasping motion is visible, players could face up to 3 months in jail.”

FIFA has yet to respond to the new bans, but is likely to go along blindly given the huge amount of money that has been corruptly spent greasing everyone involved’s gears (apart from the migrant workers).

More to come.


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