ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact

The Prime Minister has asked why the working poor who have coronavirus and are ineligible for JobSeeker or Keeper in some way can’t just stay at home like they’re told.

“It does my fucking head in,” said Scott Morrison this morning during a phone call with this masthead.

“I mean, yeah, I get it. But fuck, mate. If you have the virus, stay at home. How fucking hard is it?”

When asked by our reporter if he thinks those sickly masses in Melbourne going to work each day might be able to afford to stay at home if the eligibility for income welfare was widened to include people on work and temporary visas, the Prime Minister audibly scoffed and rejected that.

“Mate, I’m not in the business of giving Australian taxpayer dollars to non-Australians,”


“These people should’ve taken this opportunity to have gone back to their home countries where they could get welfare. No, these people should be not going to work. They should talk to their landlords, they can’t be evicted in most cases.”

But the Prime Minister did concede one point, in that these same people cannot have a landlord-type conversation with their supermarket.

“I guess you can’t just ask the checkout chickie babe to give you a break on paying for groceries. Bit of a tricky dicky malabobickie, that one is,”

“Oh well, who gives a fuck.”

More to come.


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