Unless you are binging through the directors cut of Lord Rings Return Of The King, it is very rare for anyone to sit through over three hours of cinema.

Let alone three hours and thirty two minutes.

But with the ‘last ever mob film’ now on TV, local bloke, Benjamin Lupi decided to give it a crack last night.

At 9:30pm. On a Sunday.

Coworkers thought this might have been the case today when Benjamin was spotted in a deep sleep at his desk.

The local logistics manager for a prominent Betoota Ponds portaloo rental company was seen deep within the R.E.M phase his at-desk nap, meaning he’d been asleep for well over 45 minutes.

“He Scorsese’d himself” says one colleague, Jessica.

“I told him he wouldn’t be able to do it in one hit”

“It took me a full week”

While Benjamin insists he enjoyed the film, he did make it clear that he probably started dozing off at around the two hour mark, only waking up for the gunshots.

“I reckon I kept up with the plot pretty well” says Benjamin, while explaining that on top of his sporadic mid-film naps, he also needed to make two toilet breaks and had two seperate rounds of post-dinner movie snacks.

“It’s just such a big fucker” he says.

“It covers like five decades of American history, I don’t think they skipped over one conversation either”

While Benjamin acknowledges he’s gonna have to watch this film from start to finish another time, he says he might wait until the next time he needs to fly internationally.

“I’m gonna do it with subtitles too. I’m not 100% fluent in 1950’s Pennsylvanian”

“I know they like to say ‘cocksucker’ a lot”


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