Cafes, pubs, playgrounds and workplaces around the country are battling with a complete lack of dog owner etiquette, as hundreds of thousands of exotic lockdown puppies take on the outside world with fuck all training and even less monitoring from their yuppie owners.

While great company, pet dogs can display antisocial behaviour when they have been spoiled for approximately 4 months and then left alone to bark at the mirror in an apartment all day.

Particularly the big furry dogs that seemed to be en vogue in early 2020 and have never once gotten the exercise they crave.

Local barista and small business owner, Glenn from Betoota’s ‘Hellenic Caff’ says he understands the unconditional love between man and dog more than most people.

“I’ve got two of them at home” he says.

“The key words there were ‘at home’ – with a patch of lawn for them to shit in.”

“I know dog is man’s best friend, but these new lockdown mutts are testing that. Especially when they keep eating food off other tables and pissing inside”

On top of this wave of poorly disciplined ‘fur babies’, Animal Rights groups say that we are also in the midst of a major pet welfare crisis this year, as huge numbers of dogs are relinquished to rescue centres, sold online and even abandoned. Not even 12 months after Australians emerged from two years of pandemic lockdowns.

Struggling charities have been forced to pick up the pieces of these knee-jerk decisions to take on another life because being told to stay home with 4 screens and unlimited technological entertainment became a bit boring.

Research shows the major reasons dogs are relinquished is due to behaviour problems and research suggests that separation-related anxiety may affect 85% of dogs

With the confusing rush of a new post-lockdown routine, and no real experience around other dogs, it seems metropolitan hospitality venues are baring the brunt of barking animals and entangled dog leads, as experienced owners look at their phones.

Australians who actually grew up with a family dog are now constantly finding themselves asking the question, ‘would somebody tie that thing up outside?’.

However, pet welfare groups are quick to remind frustrated Australians that this disaster is not the fault of the poor doggos – and to point the finger at their instant-gratification-seeking owners.



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