ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact

A local city worker has had his spirits boosted this afternoon after feeling rather homesick the past few weeks.

Chris Palace, originally from the rather unremarkable southern suburbs of London, decided to treat himself to one of England’s national dishes as he made the trip home to Betoota Heights.

At the Green Road Trolleybus Terminal, the 29-year-old ducked into Woolies and picked himself up a premade egg sandwich to eat on the bus.

“These are a cornerstone of life in London,” he said.

“Going to Pret in the morning for a scotch egg in winter. Getting a Tescos sandwich for dinner in summer. There’s nothing better than a good sandwich and the best ones are found at the supermarket,”

“You mouth-breathing Australians pay out the arse to have one made in front of you like you’re Prince Andrew or something. On top of that, you pay close to $20 for the pleasure. Honestly, that’s what’s making me homesick. There’s honestly some masochistic about eating supermarket sandwiches. Something masochistically British about it. Australians are decadent people. The Brits aren’t. Australians are spoilt and the worst part is that they don’t believe it to be true,”

“A bland, premade egg sandwich that’s probably going to give me anal prolapse in a few hours is a comfort from home. So can take your meat pie and bacon egg rolls and jog on.”

Mr Palace was last seen sitting up the back of the bus, eating his egg sandwich while he watched classic clips from Top Gear on his phone without headphones.

More to come.


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