Multinational tech companies are threatening to leave the country after the passing of the Access and Assistance Bill, which could cost the government up to $0 in taxes if they make good on their threat.

The controversial bill gives the Australian government authority to intercept encrypted communications with the goal of stopping terror attacks that may arise through the use of Whatsapp.

Tech giants such as Apple, Google and Facebook have slammed the bill and stated that if the government doesn’t give their corporations the same right to avoid the bill as sitting MPs they may have to find another country to pay $0 tax in.

“We’ve got nothing to hide,” said one spokesperson for one of the companies that our newspaper’s business model may or may not rely upon.

“Except for the boatloads of data we keep on every single one of you as to serve you better ads. Do you really want the same people who brought you the NBN to have access to what you’re wanking over? Craig Laundy still uses dial-up for fuck’s sake.”

At present, it cannot be said whether the companies will make good on their threat to relocate to another country where they will not contribute or if it is indeed another empty promise like Google Glass or an electronic home assistant that can do more than turn on music to impress simple guests.


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