ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact

Prolific shitter of the bed, UK Prime Minister Boris Johnson, has shit the bed again after rebel MPs from his own Conservative Party voted to take control of parliamentary business away from him in the hope of delaying the October 31 Brexit deadline.

Speaking outside 10 Downing Street this morning, Boris said that while his house staff are working tirelessly to remove the shit from his bed linen, he’s hard at work.

“Yes there is shit in my bed but sheets can be washed. A bad Brexit deal cannot be put through the Bosch,” he said.

“From here, I’ll attempt to take Britain to the polls. Let the people decide on their own future.”

Turning the screws, Opposition Leader Jeremy Corbyn has said his Labor commune will block the plan to have a snap election and will insist on a law ruling out a“no-deal” exit from the Eurozone.

Corben took to social media today to say he hopes his Party’s measures to block this election will result in more shit coming out of Boris’ arse and into his bed.

“We can’t go to the polls at the moment because we’re behind in the polls. We feel we owe it to the British people to have an election when it’ll result in a change of government,” he wrote.

“Until then, I’d be buying shares in Napisan.”

The Advocate reached out to the Australian High Commissioner to the UK, George ‘Candy’ Brandis, for comment but have yet to receive a reply.

More to come.


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