EFFIE BATEMAN Lifestyle Contact

A woman who reckons her boyfriend has ‘never heard her fart’ in the four years they’ve been together, is revealed to do quite a lot of the one cheek squeak in her sleep, which would absolutely mortify her if she ever found out the truth.

The woman in question, Addison Donahue [33], says that ‘maintaining the mystery’ has been crucial to the success of their healthy sex life, stating that she won’t even let her boyfriend Harry brush his teeth while she’s having a pee,

However according to Harry, Addison has not only farted in front of him plenty of times, but delivered some absolute stinkers.

He tells us more.

“She must be holding them in all day”, he explains, “because once she’s asleep, it’s like she just starts deflating.”

“It’s not just one, but a succession of farts. It begins to take on an almost musical quality.”

“An anal orchestra.”

When asked if he plans on ever revealing this to Addison, Harry just shakes his head and says laughs.

“Nah.”

“I couldn’t be that mean.”

More to come.

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