Australian Treasurer Josh Frydenberg has today been quick to shift the blame of the imminent economic downturn, as business leaders speak out about the tough times being faced by small and large businesses.

This comes as a leading business survey declared the retail sector is “clearly in recession” – not even a month after the re-election of the third Liberal government in five years.

Not even a week after the Reserve Bank was forced to cut interest rates to its lowest level in history, the Australian Bureau of Statistics data has shown the economy has slowed to its weakest level since the global financial crisis in 2009.

NAB group chief economist Alan Oster has since come out in agreeance with the proposition that the Australian retail sector was now “GFC-level terrible”.

“Retail is really, really doing it tough, and it’s getting worse,” he said.

In true Liberal Party fashion, Josh Frydenberg has moved very quickly to address any anxieties or concerns that the big 4 banks might have with the state of his government.

Unable to blame Labor predecessors, the Treasurer has today taken aim at a prominent financial self-help guru for advising Australians to not go spending cash on shit they don’t need.

“I blame this all on the fucken Barefoot Investor” said Frydenberg in a press conference earlier today.

“That orange splurge card is a load of shit. Living a life of frugality is not compatible with the Promise to Australians”

The Member of Kooyong explained that in order for everything to just keep trucking on until they get re-elected in 2022, Australians needed to blow heaps of cash on new shoes and electronics.

“Spend big, Australians” he said.

“Do away with that splurge account. Run the ball up. Get a credit card. Go hard”

“Don’t make me pull a Kevin. We promised tax cuts, not $950 stimulus payments!”


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