Opening a restaurant in this economy can be a daunting process.

The cost of supplies, expertise and bureaucratic government certifications makes for an expensive process – well before a plate has even been served.

A housing crisis and cost of living crisis has also crushed the entrepreneurial spirit of young Australians, with many opting to secure a safe wage rather than risk going out on their own.

The same can be said for young workers. In a country that only has three industries that matter (mining, property, private healthcare) – nobody can afford to roll the dice on a career that starts at the bottom.

However, while our nation’s aspiring teachers and nurses leave their professions in droves to earn a liveable wage in medical equipment sales and real estate – those whose love language is the smell of garlic on a stainless steel pan have no other option.

Australia’s optimistic hospitality diehards cannot be swayed from their mission to cook and host.

That’s certainly the case for the owner of Betoota Bay’s new understated coastal diner, La Sirena Marina.

After carefully and frugally navigating the costly certification process and hiring a team of dedicated staff, Timmy Ramos (32) has finally opened the long-awaited restaurant – in a suburb that has been crying out for some evening dining options.

But little did Timmy know that, even in this economy, his biggest hurdle was going to be the multi-millionaire neighbours who live close to two kilometres away from his kitchen.

“I did not know the gentle strumming an acoustic guitar would travel so far” he says.

Timmy says that while he can implement changes to limit the ambience, it seems there’s nothing he can do to keep the mega-rich and permanently sozzled millionaire neighbours happy. Because this ‘noise’ has given them some purpose in life.

“We’ve scaled down the capacity from 50 to 30, I’ve triple-glazed the glass. I’ve even let the musician go – which is a shame, because he was a local teenager who just wanted a bit of pocket money”

“But apparently they can still hear us.”

“I actually didn’t know that them being able to hear us was a problem. In other parts of this city, working people live under 747 flight paths. Or near major roads. But I’ve since learnt that certain classes of people are afforded the luxury of absolute silence at all times”

“Apparently one of these old cunts called the cops 450 times last night. We had a 70th in the front and they were claiming that they could hear the ‘hip hip hooray’ which caused them to have panic attacks”

“I guess I can ban birthday cakes, but really, the cops and local council reckon I’m just gonna have to close up shop and go bankrupt. I’ve got regulars now too – fucks me what they are gonna do for a feed”

“I’ve spose these people just go to Europe when they feel like a risotto”


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