An allegation of rape within Parliament House has triggered a cultural and structural review of the way ministers and staff deal with workplace rapes, as Prime Minister Scott Morrison declares today that he has daughters of his own.

Scotty From Marketing apologised for the treatment of former adviser Brittany Higgins after she said she had felt “dismissed” after she was allegedly raped in a ministerial office in March 2019.

He then went on to explain how his wife told him to look at this as someone with daughters, which is what he is, so it’s kind of psycho that he wouldn’t have been looking at it that way to begin with.

Still, Morrison insists that the more daughters a man has, the more likely he is able to empathise with women who have been assaulted or made to feel unsafe.

“Tony Abbott had three daughters,” Scott Morrison said.

“And it showed. He was the Minister for Women”

“Barnaby had bloody four or five of them”

“No wonder he was such a strong advocate for women – that’s a level I can only dream of”

While political analysts were expecting Morrison to provide some spin on this very horrible incident – no one was expecting him to sink as low as throwing around the old ‘as the father of daughters’.

However, his theory about fathers of daughters seems to be to bang on.

The Betoota Advocate today spoke to lone of our town’s most loved local community figures and father of sons, Dane Moreton (41)

As a father of three boys and a footy coach to fifteen under 12s – Dane says it has taken him a long time to get his head around the fact that raping someone in their workplace, in a government building, is actually wrong.

“I just guess I never really thought of it that way?” says Dane.

“Don’t get me wrong. I’d hate that to happen to my own sons… But I’ve never really put myself in the shoes of a woman…”

“Maybe that’s because I am incapable of doing so because I don’t have daughters and therefore am unable to humanise women”

“I think we are lucky to have a PM who has that skillset if I’m honest”

While today’s press conference may have instill Dane with confidence, it seems Morrison’s time as Prime Minister might be coming to and end – given his very ordinary decision to make this horrible incident about him

Asked if he would like to see a woman replace him the Prime Minister’s response was quick.

“No. That job is for Christian Porter or Alan Tudge”


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