ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact

The Prime Minister’s handling of this latest scandal has forced Peter Dutton to re-evaluate his future as Home Affairs Minister, he says.

Dutton has enrolled in a basic math refresher course at the University of Canberra, his office told The Advocate, because the Queenslander needs to learn how to count the votes in an all but certain spill motion against Scotty From Marketing in the coming months.

A Home Affairs Office spokesperson told our reporter today via telephone that Peter is, like many other older Australians, preparing himself for an uncertain future by upskilling.

“We are witnessing the end of Scott Morrison,” they said.

“Did you see the press conference this morning? No accountability. No responsibility. More buck-passing. What an absolute clown,”

“So we sent Peter to learn how to count because if you thought the last opinion poll was bad, wait until you see the next one,”

“By all reporters, Peter is making great progress and has learned how to count up to 22 using his fingers and toes.”

The Advocate reached out to The Prime Minister’s Office for comment but his team was already beginning to pack their desks up.

More to come.


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