As the Federal and State governments make it clear that they have no interest in supporting any musicians or performers who aren’t attached to major Christian donors and lobbyists, non-Hillsong artists across Australia are finding creative loopholes to continue plying their trade.

One South Sydney pub ‘The Lord Gladstone Hotel’ will rename themselves “The Gladsong Hotel” this Sunday. Their decision to ‘become a church’ for one night is aimed at highlighting the government’s decision to give dancing exemptions to religious venues while pubs and nightclubs are forced to shut down gigs.

Elsewhere in the country there has been other efforts for venues and performers to rebrand as Pentecostal Christians, as the arts look to take advantage of the fact that the government allows any religious institutions aligned with Prime Minister Morrison’s church to continue with high-density singing and dancing.

‘The Hillsong Hoods’ and ‘the Jehovah Giants’ are just two of many high-profile Australian bands who are trying to claim they were happy clappers all along.

However, it’s Western Sydney’s rap group OneFour who are attempting the boldest rebrand of them all.

For years the group have been the victim of NSW Police distorting counterterrorism laws in an attempt to crackdown on hip-hop artists in western Sydney, well before the pandemic was even on the radar of government policy makers.

OneFour has been targeted by police Strike Force Raptor over their lyrical content, which alludes to several of the band members taking part in the type of stuff that happens in Mount Druitt.

OneFour is one of the biggest musical acts in Australia with hundreds of million views across YouTube and Spotify worldwide. In music videos.

However, NSW police says they’re even prepared to use serious crime prevention orders to stop live shows going ahead because they find Polynesian drill rap distasteful. That was until the young fellas came out today and said they love electric guitar and will only be performing ‘Drillsong’ rap from now on.

By changing the title of their breakout hit ‘Shanks And Shivs’ to ‘Thanks And Gives’ – the rappers have been given complete clearance to host a 30,000 ticket concert at the SCG.

The rappers have given the NSW police the assurance that they will be carrying Bibles in their hands at all times, and will replace any reference to ‘Making Money’ with ‘Raising Money’.

“It’s a no brainer” said spokesperson for the group earlier today.

“Our opps used to be rival gangs. Now our opps are the devil and temptation. Quite simple really”

“Who wants to pray with Sydney’s realest?”


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