The Nation

ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact A French Quarter bachelor has put the planet first this evening by using last night's sheet of Glad Bake for his dinner tonight - effectively doubling the greased paper's use. Mark Oliver, a radio producer at KBBL 1449, had a six pack of name-brand Chicken Kievs last night that made one hell of a mess....

ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact Prime Ministerial hopeful Clive Frederick Palmer has been unconscious in the Betoota Airport Qantas Lounge now for the past 17 hours, prompting fears he may miss his flight. Palmer is in Betoota campaigning for his local candidate, a locally-popular guidepost on the Windorah road, and it seems to have taken it's toll on the larger-than-life...

ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact A twenty-seven-and-three-quarter-month-old Betoota Heights toddler roasted his own father this morning after he forced to wear his wife's sunglasses in the car after forgetting his own. Earlier this morning, the light showers than rolled over town last night left a slick and shiny sheen on many local roads. That forced Kevin O'Dooley, a French Quarter architectural...

ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact A simple man from our town's sprawling Heights district has spoken of his weekend excursion to a local vineyard, telling The Advocate that he enjoyed the experience - for the most part. Software developer and Betoota Pidgeottos Softball Club life member, Grant Hoskings, said that there's worse ways to spend your Sunday than at a...

ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact In an ironic twist, people around the world are now picking up after the dumb boomers who've done their level best to destroy the planet, creating an online movement dubbed #trashtag in the process. The internet phenomenon showcases a variety of before and after photographs of once-polluted areas that are now clean and tidy -...

ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact Spending close to a day's wage on a round of draught Espresso Martinis fails to even register on Dale Peckham's radar of a Saturday afternoon but ask him to spend big on a lamb roast on a Tuesday and he'll balk at the cost. Speaking to The Advocate this morning in the designated smoking area...

ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact The out-of-touch weather dork at Betoota Imparja has rolled eyes yet again after telling his viewers that the 'fantastic' sunny and warm conditions are set to continue. Just over a week ago, Peter Tarpaulin, a largely-unpopular local television meteorologist, described the unseasonably cold and wet conditions here in our desert capital as being 'terrible'...

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT In true Labor fashion, NSW Opposition leader Michael Daley has today done his very best to Hillary Clinton an open lay-up. With the world still reeling from a tragic act of white supremacist terrorist in our own backyard, Daley has done his best to read the room and deciding bashing migrants might be his best bet at winning an...

ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact Another humid Monday night means Australia's favourite panel show is back on the airwaves. Tonight, yet another panel made up of the ageing bourgeois will attempt to solve one of our nation's problems - this time around, it's the Townsville floods and the devastating effects that rain event had on the local cattle industry. So in...

ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact Close to half of Michael Stimpson's monthly wage is now set to be carved off by the bank after the sprightly 19-year-old apprentice signed a car loan this afternoon. The local apprentice cabinet maker borrowed close to three-quarters of his annual wage at a predatory 12% interest - but if you ask him, that's just...