ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact

The out-of-touch weather dork at Betoota Imparja has rolled eyes yet again after telling his viewers that the ‘fantastic’ sunny and warm conditions are set to continue.

Just over a week ago, Peter Tarpaulin, a largely-unpopular local television meteorologist, described the unseasonably cold and wet conditions here in our desert capital as being ‘terrible’ and ‘unpleasant’.

And that didn’t sit well with a Betoota Heights man who enjoys yelling at his television.

Yesterday evening, Rainbow Crescent sexagenarian Morris Gunt had our reporter over for dinner, where they discussed ‘Peter fucking Tarpaulin’ at length as he delivered his weather reporter on the television.

“Does he have rocks inside of his fucking head?!” Morris yelled at his 60-inch Sony.

“Does he not understand you must have your ying with your fucking yang?!”

Our reporter nodded and took a bite of his raspberry Pop-Tart.

“Lovely weather conditions? It’s going to be 37 and sunny tomorrow! 75% humidity! That’s not lovely, that’s just fucked! Take me back to the cold fronts and steady rains. That’s the type of weather I fucking like!”

The Advocate reached out to Imparja and Peter Tarpaulin for comment but have yet to receive a reply.

More to come.


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