ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact

Prime Ministerial hopeful Clive Frederick Palmer has been unconscious in the Betoota Airport Qantas Lounge now for the past 17 hours, prompting fears he may miss his flight.

Palmer is in Betoota campaigning for his local candidate, a locally-popular guidepost on the Windorah road, and it seems to have taken it’s toll on the larger-than-life Victorian.

He arrived at the airport last night around 8pm for his flight today leaving at 2pm.

Some at the airport considered that to be odd, especially a number of Qantas Lounge staff who observed Palmer building a primative nest-like structure out of couch cushions, tea towels and discarded newspapers.

Some time around lunch today, Clive was seen to have pulled himself up onto a couch with great effort before losing consciousness once again.

Now that the time of his departure is drawing near, many in the exclusive lounge have expressed their concerns.

Speaking anonymously to our esteemed inland news organ, one Qantas employee said they and other staff members were too scared to wake him.

“He was making some strange noises a while ago,” they said.

“Moaning and yelling. I’ve never heard anything like it. A couple of our customers said he was screaming in Mandarin. I don’t even want to know, man. It was spooky as fuck.

“I think that’s why nobody wants to wake him. We think he’s still breathing. His definitely wet himself, though. Probably more than once,”

“He’s got my vote, anyway.”

Throughout the day, this story will be updated with both minor and large breaking news events that our readers care about. Check back as we continue to update this story.

More to come.


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