ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact

A twenty-seven-and-three-quarter-month-old Betoota Heights toddler roasted his own father this morning after he forced to wear his wife’s sunglasses in the car after forgetting his own.

Earlier this morning, the light showers than rolled over town last night left a slick and shiny sheen on many local roads.

That forced Kevin O’Dooley, a French Quarter architectural draftsman, to don his partner’s sunglasses in and effort to keep their nineteen-year-old Subaru Forrester on the road and upright.

Much to the chagrin joy of his young boy, Pontiac Firebird.

Kevin spoke briefly to our reporter in the carpark of The Advocate’s Daroo Street newsroom as he wiped the vomit off his child, car and soul.

“You know what’s ironic?” Kevin asked.

“For a kid who was conceived on the bonnet of a sports car, then named after that very same car, Pontiac gets car sick quite a lot,”

“But, I’ll tell you what he does like? Me wearing my wife’s sunglasses. I put them on so we wouldn’t die in a car accident and he just lost it! He wouldn’t stop laughing! I was like me watching Jim Jefferies special, it was! Except I didn’t just laugh when he swore or shouted the punchline like John Oliver does! Fuck me, that his funny, cunt.”

Our reporter asked Pontiac Firebird for comment but just as he was about to say something, he vomited on himself and the car seat again.

More to come.


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