The Nation

ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact Against his will, the curator at Brisbane's Woolloongabba Cricket Ground has dropped in a section of nearby Vulture Street into the pitch after the powerful Victorian Football lobby demanded it. Cricket, which once-upon-a-time featured pitches with had their own distinct characteristics from ground to ground, has suffered the indignity of being lectured by a Victorian...

ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact A local man who supports the current government's economic policy while also enjoying the company of our town's minority communities just looks a bit off. Benson Granger, of Betoota Grove, has a weird looking face and a pair of teeth on him that look nice and straight, just too big. Coworkers at Credit Suisse Betoota, where...

TRACEY BENDINGER | Culture | Contact The warmer weather is definitely upon us here in Betoota and one local tech specialist has not let the opportunity pass him by, forgoing his usual collared shirt and slacks combo and opting instead for a t-shirt and below the knee cargo shorts. Kevin Atink’s fashion choices are not particularly ballsy, yet it has a number...

ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact The mass exodus at the Triple J has claimed a number of high profile personalities in recent weeks - but one of the most senior public servants at the station has declared he's going nowhere this morning. Our public broadcaster's youth radio station's music director, Richard Kingsmill, has handcuffed himself to a pipe down at...

ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact One of the nation's top media pigeons is considering a defection to the UK, according to leaked National Party emails. The emails suggest Barnaby Joyce's crack media pigeon has applied for the role of Prince Andrew's Senior Public Relations Manager after the Royal went on television overnight, pull back the sheets, lowered his britches and...

PAVEL BOVOSKI | Finance | Contact A report commissioned by the Reserve Bank of Australia has found that customers of the Bank of Mum & Dad are just Baby Boomers in their mid-20s and early-30s. A number of alarming statistics and findings were uncovered by the report, which was published today on the RBA's website, leaving many in the industry wondering...

WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | CONTACT Sydney's Waverly Council has been heaped with praise after successfully rolling out an innovative new scheme. In a world-first, the Eastern Sydney council has begun offering British tourists, and anyone else of extremely delicate skin the use of their new Sunscreen Cattle Dip. The relatively new Cattle Dip bought from a mate of a local councillor out bush...

ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact A local city worker was kept up overnight by a lone mosquito in his bedroom, forcing him to turn his bedside lamp into a crude searchlight. Betoota Heights mortgagee Riley O'Leary told our reporter that it still took some time for him to find the mosquito - and when it did, it was on the...

ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact Taking one and scoring 16 in a winning team is still a win, according to one local man who spoke briefly to our reporter at the Trevor Chappell Cricket Centre in Betoota Heights this morning. It's even a victory worth celebrating, he says. Coming in at seventh-drop on Saturday, area small business owner Greg Almasa said...

EFFIE BATEMAN | BRISBANE | CONTACT Local woman, Maggie Grace was in dire need of a detox after spending the night shooting Fireball, downing vodka red bulls, and engaging in an ill-advised Jagerbomb. In an effort to replenish her body with some much-needed nutrients, Maggie decided to forego the usual Berocca and instead opt for a Strawberry Squeeze from Boost Juice. "What dickhead suggested...