The Nation

Unoriginal Town Comes Up With Some Tote Bags Featuring Town’s Name Amongst List Of Big Cities

ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact A medium-sized regional centre on the fringe of the Simpson Desert has come up with the idea of producing and selling a number of tote bags at the information centre that sports the town's name alongside some of the biggest cities on Earth. No, it's no Windorah, it's our town. Betoota, a reletively-large town with...

Tourist Saddened By Uluru Closure Forced To Climb Mount Druitt Instead

ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact A breeding pair of Betoota Heights residents were saddened they missed the deadline to climb Uluru earlier this year - but they're not going to let political correctness ruin their holiday. Instead of travelling to the Red Centre this year, Mark and Glenda Pooley are going to Sydney to climb the fabled Mount Druitt, which...

Angus Taylor Finally Able To Get Back To Work After Nation Forgets About All The Crook Shit He’s Done

ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact Energy Minister Angus Taylor is relieved today to finally get back to work after a number of distractions and controversies in recent months has made it difficult for him to concentrate on the job at hand. From being embroided in quite obvious corruption surrounding water buybacks, being linked to offshore accounts in tax havens, misleading...

Frydenberg Urges Support For The Commonly Held View That Boomers Destroyed The Economy, Climate

ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact The Treasurer Josh Frydenberg has made a landmark shift in monetary policy this morning that shifts blame for the stagnate economy from his government to our nation's Baby Boomers. This brings the government in line with the commonly-held theory that all of the issues that Australia faces in the future have been caused by a...

Jetstar Move To Departure Day Schedule In Effort To Reduce Delays

ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact Qantas' low-cost carrier, Jetstar, is moving to a departure day schedule in an effort to reduce delays and cancellations. From next year, instead of having a specific time of departure on a Jetstar service, customers will simply turn up on the day their flight is due to leave and wait around until the aircraft is...

Nation Fondly Remembers A Time When Over-The-Top Outrage Was Focussed On Biscuit Flavouring

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT Australia was once a nation where people were judged only on their social status, gender and skin colour. But now, it still is a place where that happens, but with the addition of also judging people based on what issues they choose to be outraged about. In recent months, hot topics like climate change, protesting rights and corporate whistleblowing...

Mike Cannon-Brookes Asked By Man Who Looks Mike Cannon-Brookes If He’s Mike Cannon-Brookes

ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact Tech entrepreneur Mike Cannon-Brookes was approached last night in a local bar by a man who looks similar to him and asked if he was Mike Cannon-Brookes. Mr Cannon-Brookes is visiting our cosmopolitan desert community this week for Betootacone Valley's annual Simpson Desert Tech Fête. Currently in its sixth year, the incubator-thon attracts some of...

NSW Government To Publish List Of High-Rises With Grenfell Cladding After MPs Sell Investments

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT For two years Australian State and Territory governments have been auditing buildings and compiling lists of those covered in the 'Grenfell cladding' - a highly flammable external insulation material. However, in NSW, the findings are a little inconvenient. Which is why they aren't really being released. Over 440 structures in New South Wales are covered in the flammable cladding, likely...

Mid Tier Influencer In The Bird Cage Surprised By How Little Protesters Have Affected Her

TRACEY BENDINGER | Local News | Contact Arriving at Flemington Racecourse this morning Bella Anderson’s car was swamped by anti-horse racing protesters, all holding signs with vicious slogans designed to make racegoers feel guilty. Although the protester's signs did make Bella feel something, she reveals to The Advocate that it’s probably not the emotion they were hoping for. “Is being surprised an emotion?” “I was surprised by...

Furious Inner-City Leftie Quietly Deletes 18 Drafted Tweets After No Horsies Die On The Track

WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | CONTACT A local Newtown woman is quietly seething this afternoon it can be confirmed. This comes after the running of the Melbourne Cup saw not a single horse die out on the track. With 18 tweets loaded up and ready to fire off in a vague way of getting back at her dad's side of the family, Essence Charl-Oiyals...

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