ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact

One of the nation’s top media pigeons is considering a defection to the UK, according to leaked National Party emails.

The emails suggest Barnaby Joyce’s crack media pigeon has applied for the role of Prince Andrew’s Senior Public Relations Manager after the Royal went on television overnight, pull back the sheets, lowered his britches and shit all through his bed before rolling around in it – the Prince even ate a little bit of it.

Today, the position is being advertised on job boards across the Commonwealth.

The popular Rock Pigeon, who was headhunted for the position of Rugby Australia’s Marketing Pigeon by former Wallaby Chris Latham after the socks-down-country-boy found the avian spin doctor eating grass seeds in a Sydney park, has remained silent on the leaks.

In a twist of fate, the pigeon started working for rugby union’s governing body because Mr Joyce trapped and ate the previous marketing pigeon while on a visit to Sydney earlier in the year.

Mr Joyce was reduced to catching pigeons to supplement red meat in his diet recently after telling the nation that it’s hard to survive on his parliamentary salary.

The Advocate reached out to The Nationals for comment but have yet to receive a reply.

Buckingham Palace was also asked to comment on the alleged defection and was told that there is no such plan.

More to come.


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