ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact

Socks down country boy Chris Latham pulled the boots back on this afternoon and caught Rugby Australia a new marketing pigeon just in time for tonight’s do-or-die Bledisloe clash at Eden Park.

The All Blacks haven’t lost at the ground since 1994 and the Wallabies haven’t lifted the sport’s heaviest trophy since 2002.

In many ways, the Wallabies face an uphill battle that makes Gallipoli look like a game of French cricket.

The difficulty of the task was compounded by the loss of Rugby Australia’s star marketing pigeon, who was recently promoted to head of the organisation’s media.

Tragedy struck when the Member for Struggle Street, Barnaby Joyce, trapped the pigeon and ate it during a visit to Sydney earlier this week.

Joyce caught Media Pigeon and a number of other flying rats in Sydney’s Moore Park district, close to Rugby Australia’s headquarters and the Airbnb he was staying in and gassed them in a superphosphate bag attached to the exhaust pipe of his EB Falcon.

However, Bledisloe hero and Wallabies second-highest try-scorer Chris Latham has come to the rescue.

Speaking exclusively to The Advocate this afternoon via telephone, the barnstorming Virgo said he was just doing his bit to help.

“I couldn’t just let the boys face the All Blacks tonight without a strong media pigeon back at head office,” he said.

“It’s a job only a pigeon can do. Not just any old pigeon or one of those fancy ones with the cute little mohawk. I’m talking about a nice thick rock pigeon, like ones you’d see up the shops or something. You know the ones I’m talking about,”

“Anyway, I ran around Moore Park trying to catch the perfect pigeon all morning. I also ran into Barnaby, actually. He was cooking a carp he’d caught on one of those council barbeques. Bit crook if you ask this old cowboy. He didn’t even have any spices,”

“But yeah, I caught a nice looking pigeon for Rugby Australia just after lunch. Had him in my hands, didn’t even try to peck me. I walked into the lobby there at Rugby and let the pigeon go. It flew up the stairs cooing it’s little tongue out!”

“Coooo! Cooo! Coooooooooo!”

The Advocate reached out to Rugby Australia for comment but have yet to receive a reply.

More to come.


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