PAVEL BOVOSKI | Finance | Contact

A report commissioned by the Reserve Bank of Australia has found that customers of the Bank of Mum & Dad are just Baby Boomers in their mid-20s and early-30s.

A number of alarming statistics and findings were uncovered by the report, which was published today on the RBA’s website, leaving many in the industry wondering if the offspring of wealthy Baby Boomers should be put in the gulags with their parents when the revolution sweeps through.

The reporter was authored by a leading economist at the nation’s peak monetary body, Dr Dido Persephone

“It makes for disturbing reading,” she said.

“While these Young Boomers care about things like climate change, gay marriage and women’s rights, they don’t care enough to do anything about it – other than vote for the Greens candidate in the blue-ribbon Liberal seat where they live with their parents,”

“They won’t protest or attempt to dismantle the existing structures of oppression that they benefit from. It’s about appearing to care up until the point where they inherit financial freedom.”

While the report does suggest that there are Baby Boomers that have nothing, who will have to work until their right ventricle mercifully blows out while they’re sweeping the floor of some factory at age 79, it outlines that Boomer is more or less a state of mind than an age bracket.

“Of course, I think that’s a great idea,” said Dr Persephone when asked by our reporter if she agreed with the Greens new policy of dragging billionaires out of bed in the middle of the night, roughing them up a bit before hanging them from a streetlight live on the SBS.

“But we’re not talking about that. Mortgagers who borrow from the Bank of Mum and Dad at their famous no deposit and no interest terms are part of the problem,” she said.

“They live in a world so far removed from the real one,”

“So remember, Baby Boomers is not an age bracket. It’s a state of mind.”

More to come.


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