The Nation

ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact A man from Victoria who's never really been that far north in this country has told people on the internet today that he knows everything there is to know about the live export trade. And it's all bad. Kevin Wapjohns is about 90% sure he's never been north of Byron Bay, where he was last year...

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT A 78-year-old American man who believes that his own citizens shouldn't have to sell their homes to pay for cancer treatment, and that people who work three jobs shouldn't be living in poverty appears to be the number one pick for the Democratic Party's presidential nomination. Radical socialist Bernie Sanders is continuing to surprise the democratic establishment by once...

ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact The Prime Minister held a press conference this morning to announce the nation has enacted its 'coronavirus management plan' but stopped short of declaring the highly-infectious virus a national emergency. In Canberra this morning, Scotty From Marketing explained that pandemics such as the coronavirus have always been 'part-and-parcel' with Australian life and that the findings...

ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact The Prime Minister has labelled Norweigan energy company, Equinor, a 'bunch of cowards' after the conglomerate decided not to drill for oil in the Great Australian Bight. Equinor revealed today via a press release that they 'no longer considered' drilling for oil in one of the nation's great natural wonders to be 'commercially viable'. The Advocate...

ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact A local private wealth manager has been rehearsing her part in the inevitable phonecall she's going to have to make today to explain to her clients that going to the snow this year might be a bad financial idea. From her desk in our town's Old City District, Libby Tyler, a portfolio manager at Tyler...

ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact "I think he's misunderstood a lot of the time," he said. "If you follow AFL, like you know what's going on in the day to day, what Sam does is actually pretty on point and funny. People from New South Wales and Queensland just don't get it." A Melbourne man who moved to our state's far...

ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact A French Quarter finance worker has spent this afternoon telling his colleagues about a popular cafe chain back home in his native England, explaining to them that he misses it. Jame Cole, a polite but largely forgettable Londoner who works at the Diamantina Credit Union in some capacity, told coworkers that he used to duck...

WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | CONTACT In some sad news for Sydney's organised crime figures and those who benefit from being associated with them, the city's underworld is on its knees today. This comes after yet another devastating hit of underage strip searches over the weekend, with another 44 children being forced to expose themselves at the Good Life Festival. With the already struggling organised...

EFFIE BATEMAN | BRISBANE| CONTACT Like many people, Renee Childs reportedly went through an awkward phase that has haunted her ever since.  Save for the lucky few bastards who somehow managed to be attractive straight from the birth canal, Renee grew to accept that her years of braces, pimples and bad hair were just a rite of passage. But this hasn’t stopped...

ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact A mildly-unpopular local farm boy has come clean with himself today and revealed he's actually pretty useless at almost everything. Max Reardon told our reporter this afternoon that for far too long he's operated under the well-conceived notion that all men who grew up on a farm are good at things - both practical and...