Sports

WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet |CONTACT In a sensational move out of Queensland this morning, Wallabies coach Michael Cheika has today confirmed a big name signing. Rather than announce that WonderKid Kayln Ponga had signed on to the slowly dying game of Rugby Union in Australia, the Wallabies boss confirmed that they had poached someone else. In a huge move for the game ahead...

IMRAN GASHKORI | Sports | Contact A Hobart security guard has confirmed he is still struggling to understand why an umpire didn’t utilise his expertise in breaking up a minor physical exchange between two AFL players this weekend. This comes after the two professional athletes engaged in a brief wrestle on the field on Sunday night during the GSW Giants and North Melbourne Kangaroos...

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT In shattering news for the college basketball system, yet another NBL team has signed an American teenager who would prefer to get paid a medium income instead of pretending to get an education. As of this morning, the youngest brother of America's newest sporting dynasty, LaMelo Ball has confirmed he will be playing with the Illawarra Hawks in another...

WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet |CONTACT In some breaking news out of the state least interested in being part of Australia, NSW Origin Coach Brad Fittler has confirmed that he will be running with a controversial new old strategy for the rest of the series. Speaking to The Advocate from Perth just moments ago, Freddy explained that he is hoping to give the NSW 2006-2017...

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT "Raptors baby!" shouted local graphic designer, Declan Washer on his way into the office this morning. "We did it!" "Kawhi my a river!" While this newfound fandom may seem uncharacteristic for Deccers, it also isn't a rare occurence in workplaces around Australia this Monday. The 33-year-old young father from Betoota's trendy French Quarter is just one of thousands of Australians who spent...

WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet |CONTACT In breaking news out of Melbourne, it's been confirmed tonight that Queensland centre Will Chambers is set to get his first decent night's sleep in well over a year. This comes after NSW Blues Coach Brad Fittler dropped explosive centre Latrell Mitchell for the upcoming all-important Game Two next Sunday night in Perth. For some reason, Fittler has decided...

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT As of this morning, NSW Blues coach Freddy Fittler has finally got his hands on the final piece to the puzzle. As our boys in Maroon carry the momentum of their Game I win to Perth, The Blues have moved 21-year-old Latrell Mitchell to the bench. This is to make room for the only man who has the answers. It's the...

WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet |CONTACT The southern beachside suburb of Bondi has today fallen silent, after the incredible Matildas' victory in the World Cup overnight. Despite the Matildas falling behind to Brazil 2-0 early, the Australians managed to claw their way back to an amazing 3-2 victory against one of the heavyweights of women's football. With goals from Caitlin Foord and Chloe Logarzo,...

WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet |CONTACT In an incredible code crossover, the Rugby Australia (RA) has today offered it's services to the AFL. The move comes as the AFL grapples with it's crowd management problems, including the backlash from some corners for a crackdown on fan behaviour and the almost weekly handbags thrown in the stands. With Victorian Football icon Joffa Corfe announcing he...

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT Queensland's Western Corridor is still celebrating this afternoon, three days after their golden-child Ash Barty won her first grand slam at 23 years' old. Born in raised in the 'Swich, Barty has today given the locals a household name to trot out whenever they brag about home. Barty arrived at the French Open as the 8th seed, before defeating Jessica...