Local News

LOUIS BURKE | Culture | CONTACT Because you’re reading this and you need to be reminded we’ll say it again; these past six or seven years have been a trifle of fear, conflict, financial stress, death, misinformation and a pretty general sense that not only is humanity doomed, but rightfully deserves to be. But good on you for making it to this point in the...

LOUIS BURKE | Culture | CONTACT In an act so charitable it might just end up as a tax deduction, a local university is offering a framing service for Communications degrees making them look almost like the real thing. South Betoota Polytechnic (Betoota campus) is known for offering prestigious degrees in business and health as well as a few cheeky comms degrees so there will...

KEITH T. DENNETT | New South | CONTACT A young student attempting to survive on Youth Allowance is kicking himself today, after missing his opportunity to live large on the company card. Six weeks into an internship at the prestigious Hunter-Wood & Jamesons firm in Betoota’s finance district, 3rd year law student Dan Hardwell has never worked harder in his life, nor has he ever...

ALISON SCHENK | Entertainment | Contact A Betoota Heights family has been plunged into turmoil this weekend after Hughseph (21) brought his new girlfriend Haeyley (20) to the family home for the first time.  What the matriarch of the family, Jane (58), was hoping would be a lovely family dinner to welcome her new potential future daughter in law and mother of her grandchildren (‘but...

DR CHET SPEVENS | Finance Expert | CONTACTTanbarrar may be a quaint regional village set amongst gorgeous desert landscapes but its residents are finding it difficult to meet their basic modern day banking needs. Take local sausage dog Reiki Healer and K9 Makeup Artist Dominque Pork, who has lived and worked in the village her whole life. To run her small business...

KEITH T. DENNETT | New South | CONTACTAt 27 years of age, the fact that local man Zach Kenworth doesn’t have a car or even a valid drivers licence is a little embarrassing. Despite having parents who were always willing and available to teach him, or fund some lessons, Zach is one of those people who’s just happy going about their life as a...

CLYDE ROYAL |Western News| Contact This Sunday morning two Riot vehicles were dispatched to Betoota Park’s most in demand public barbecue area. Sources say the party was quite a pleasant affair until the Pinata was revealed. “I don’t know what happened, the energy in the air changed,” said Jenny Graham(39), a mother of one of the party goers.  It’s alleged that once the first...

EFFIE BATEMAN | Lifestyle | ContactA fully grown man last night revealed he has the eating habits of a child, much to the shock (and delight) of his friends who love nothing more than being having more shit to tease him about. Corey Zammit is alleged to have had a catchup with some of his mates at Reece Tibbet’s house last night, where...

WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | CONTACT A building site in County Coogee has today been treated to a rather spectacular Friday arvo knock off. With tools heading back into trucks on the bustling Eastern Sydney construction site, one of the more vocal Irish workers decided to open the pipes and let rip a classic tune from home. "Aiiiiiiiiiiii was born on Dublin street, where...

EFFIE BATEMAN | Lifestyle | Contact Though local woman Gwen Bennett had expected the odd few wrinkles there have been a few parts of her thirties that have come as a complete and utter shock. For one, she’s now facing a sudden onslaught of pimples despite having been one of those lucky few people who had blemish free skin as a teenager. And she’s...