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LOUIS BURKE | Culture | CONTACT A reluctant balance has been restored on our nation’s east coast and fans of the NSW State of Origin team share a secret relief upon taking their rightful place in the world; being fans of a second-string rep team with a long history of having their hopes dashed. Although NSW have recently tasted the rare feeling of success in...

WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet |CONTACT The people in charge of one of Australia's most successful companies have today moved to manage a bit of a PR crisis. The CEOs and Co-founders of Afterpay have been forced to defend revelations that they got paid a combined 264 million bucks for the 2021 financial year. Anthony Eisen and Nick Molnar have become Australia's highest-paid executives,...

WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet |CONTACT The world's richest man has today shown off his savvy negotiating skills, by changing tack in his discussions with the social media giant Twitter. Caught up in a brawl over the sale of the platform, Elon Musk has apparently leaned on a strategy employed by lowballing gronks all over the world. He's offered to pay the company half...

WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet |CONTACT One of the Channel Country's most esteemed tertiary institutions has today revealed they are contemplating a major operational change. The University of Betoota, the sandstone brother of our more functional South Betoota Polytechnic institution, has announced that it is considering scrapping trimesters. In their place will be a fast pace and exciting Octo-mester model, which will break the...

WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet |CONTACT One of South Betoota Polytechnic's finest has today raised a few eyebrows in his university sharehouse. Rolling home from another day of studying at the uni library that's packed like a tin of cheap sardines, Andy Goulding has pulled up prepared to unleash a culinary delight from the other end of the globe. Goulding apparently informed his exam-free...

KEITH T. DENNETT | New South | CONTACT The West Tigers have made an exciting announcement this week, launching a new pathways program designed to progress their ageing roster to the Super League faster than ever before. Often considered the pride of Balmain, and sometimes Campbelltown, the West Tigers have launched “Campbelltown to Castleford”, a new joint venture with the UK’s Castleford Tigers. After numerous seasons...

LOUIS BURKE | Culture | CONTACT In the wake of American Independence Day, the usual group of American expats living in Australia have found themselves feeling much less homesick than usual this year. Observed every year on the fourth of July, American Independence Day marks the anniversary of their separation from the British Empire which is often celebrated with fireworks, men on stilts, and something...

KEITH T. DENNETT | New South | CONTACT A local Bloke’s attempt at self-care has been ruined this week, thanks to a playlist that reminded him of his toughest heartbreak. After several weeks of back spasms, The Advocate understands local fitter and turner Brian Beaurepaire visited Royal Orchid Remedial Massage in downtown Betoota to relieve his soaring spinal pain. A massage establishment famed for its hot...

KEITH T. DENNETT | New South | CONTACT Researchers from the Royal Betoota College of Human Sciences have announced an exciting new finding today, after discovering what it believed to be the last licensed venue playing Chive TV.  A pre-historic channel that plays “the most jaw-dropping viral videos from the internet”, the service was once popular for its ability to remix videos of extreme sports,...

DR CHET SPEVENS | Finance Expert | CONTACT Desperate times call for desperate measures. With the looming recession brought on by runaway inflation, rising interest rates, war in Europe, and the exponential rise in the cost of living, many quiet Australians are finding themselves in dire need to get control of their finances.  For many, the hardest part is simply making a...