IN-Focus

ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact One of the many new faces around Manuka's Public Bar has made sure to pack his RMs for an upcoming visit to embattled citrus farmers in the Victorian Mallee country next week. Lewis Garity is a policy advisor to the Federal Agriculture Minister, Murray Watt. That's despite having a limited practical understanding of primary production...

ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact The Prime Minister has reassured a worried public today by telling Australians that things might get better one day. Speaking to Parliament, Anthony Albanese said you never know what's around the corner when it comes to your own personal circumstances and that perhaps things will change for the better. "Don't worry," said Mr Albanese. "Things might get...

RORY SALAZAR | Finance | Contact For off-the-plan apartment buyers, signing that contract has become one of the biggest gambles you can make. That’s because there is now a 50/50 chance you’ll either get what you paid for, a home, or end up homeless and broke after an expensive legal battle seeking compensation for the uninhabitable building’s countless defects. But thanks to...

EFFIE BATEMAN | Lifestyle | ContactA bloke whose scandals including glassing his fiancé, cheating on his pregnant wife and sexually assaulting a stranger has now found himself facing another controversy, this time, for not being enough of a disgusting pig. Former ball thrower Wayne Carey is said to have been banned from entering any of Crown’s facilities for two years, because he failed to...

ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact A local man feels he's in finance purgatory today after deciding against seeing his mates at the pub because he can't really afford to do that and then pay the mortgage on his flat in two weeks' time. It's a tricky dance, says Kasey Edwardson, who doesn't remember the last time he caught up with...

ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact A silly old bastard from Betoota Heights has written into The Advocate today saying he's always supported Nick Kyrgios and anyone who says anything to the contrary will get a crisp jab across the chin and a boot up the doot for good measure. Despite not being contacted for this story, 56-year-old retiree Darryl Gawn...

ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact A local builder who embarked upon a keto diet with his wife last month has been formally questioned over the empty McDonalds bags found under the passenger seat of his work ute. For reasons undisclosed to this masthead, Betoota Heights man Chris Pooley is on a carbohydrate-restrictive diet. What the 34-tear-old has been able to...

RORY SALAZAR | Finance | CONTACT A pair of cosmopolitan city-slickers from Betoota’s famed French Quarter have blown into a one-horse town somewhere out in the middle of nowhere and grabbed a few items from the local IGA. The event occurred at approximately lunchtime yesterday afternoon, when Miles Watkins (27) entered the IGA accompanied by his best friend since he was only little, Arlo (last...

ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact A young couple who got supremely honey-dicked into buying some mouldy shitbox in our town's French Quarter are now complaining about being trapped in a mortgage prison because the RBA put interest rates up when they said they wouldn't. The couple were complaining to a life-long renter, Craig Bowmore, who said he was simply born...

LOUIS BURKE | Culture | CONTACTThe Australian tourism industry isn’t quite what it used to be. Reports from Northern NSW, aka Deep South Queensland, have confirmed that one backpacker in the hinterland town of Nimbin had to wait as long as 40 seconds before being sold drugs. Known as the cannabis capital of Australia, Nimbin is a sleepy town of just 1,477 who love...