IN-Focus

LOUIS BURKE | Culture | CONTACT Christmas miracles may not just be for early 20th century films where you have to ignore the racist bits. As with all families that would rather spend Christmas Day with the side of the family they actually like, the McGregors organised a pre-Christmas gathering to enjoy a couple of rotisserie chooks and the Kris Kringle present aunt Marge definitely...

EFFIE BATEMAN | BRISBANE| CONTACT An inner-city businesswoman has royally fucked up her day by eating garlic chicken salad for lunch. The account manager in question, Mikayla Ellis, reveals that she’d left her ham and cheese sandwich on the kitchen counter and was forced to buy from the overpriced bistro located underneath her office. Torn between a tuna sub or a $28 salad,...

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT Mount Druitt rap group OneFour have today been praised for helping the greater Sydney community prepare themselves for the catastrophically poor standard of air bellowing across the city, as bushfires rage on the suburban outskirts. Rescue services says that the Pasifika drill outfit have prevented what could have been a disastrous backlog of call-outs by encouraging Sydney residents to...

LOUIS BURKE | Culture | CONTACT One of Betoota’s newests residents could be in the running for the Guiness World Record for ‘Quickest Crime Ever Solved.’ Surgical nurse Leanne (33) was going for a walk around her new neighbourhood in Betoota’s Flight Path District when the unmistakable waft of freshly smoked marijuana filled her nostrils. Turning her head to see which of the neighbours...

EFFIE BATEMAN | BRISBANE| CONTACT An RSL staff member was alerted to a potential drunk as sources reveal a man was seen having a yarn with the Guide Dogs Australia Donation Dog. Staff say the man caught their attention as it was unusual to see someone under the age of sixty that early in the morning. This week on the podcast, Editors Clancy and Errol spoke to Gary Sweet. Listen here:  “Yeah he was having a good old chat...

EFFIE BATEMAN | BRISBANE| CONTACT After driving to his JB Hi-Fi to purchase a new pair of earphones, local man Ryan Davies decided to impulse buy a Google Home Mini. The smart device, designed to play music and schedule meetings, has so far been used mostly to answer dirty questions and play random nature sounds. Now that everyone has run out of ideas,...

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT Medium-sized Australian Insta-model, Storm Waterhouse (23) is today finally tasting the fruits of 4 months of posting bikini shots to her Instagram. While the free crop-tops and teeth whitening kits come and go, today Storm is experiencing something that feels a lot more like she's killing it. LISTEN TO THE BETOOTA ADVOCATE'S IN-DEPTH STUDY INTO INFLUENCERS (Featuring 'SHAMELESS PODCAST')...

TRACEY BENDINGER | Culture | Contact In light of the government’s has recent announcement that growing and processing marijuana for personal use in the Australian Capital Territory is legal, an announcement of another, quieter kind has occurred in a Betoota Quarry garage. Daniel Salmand (18) announced to his friends this afternoon that he’d finally found where the quiet group of bong-smoking skateboarders...

LOUIS BOURKE | Culture| CONTACT During an after-hours work and self-loathing session, office worker Chris Guest (33) learnt something interesting about his new co-worker Liam King (27). Since King started three weeks ago, Guest has learnt very little about him other than he likes to occasionally say ‘fo shizzle’ instead of ‘yes’ and that he sometimes appears to eat a whole rotisserie chicken for...

EFFIE BATEMAN | BRISBANE | CONTACT Stephanie Jacobson, known for being that mild attention seeker in primary school who used to gallop around the oval, is now into burlesque. With no discernible personality traits other than her seemingly large disposable income, Stephanie has reportedly moved on from horses and into the world of Victorian era caricature. Under the stage name ‘Stella Mane‘ - Stephanie now...