LOUIS BURKE | Culture | CONTACT
The pettiest form of justice is in action as a lucky bugger on a long and Instagram friendly overseas trip is at least getting fat.
Enjoying plates of foie gras in a 2 Minute Noodles economy, relapsing hedonist Ned Baker (31) has been constantly updating his Instagram page to share all the mental places he has been sinking piss in for the past three months.
For those who have kept up to date with Baker’s travels, a little jealousy seems only natural as they observe their friend eating a cannoli in a pool while they commute home in the dark with a frozen tub of meal prep the only glimmer of comfort.
That is until recently, as Baker’s social media updates have confirmed he has no portrait in his attic stacking on kegs on his behalf and that the frequent food and booze have found a home in the globetrotter’s gut.
“Of course I don’t want him to get fat, but it does make his constant spaghetti updates easier to swallow,” stated Baker’s mate, who feels a tad like an unpaid nutritionist after following his buddy’s diet so closely.
“To be fair, that lard sandwich he had did look amazing.”
According to Baker, he plans on shedding the weight once he gets home which he reckons will probably happen sometime in the next three to five months or whenever he gets bored of doing whatever the fuck he wants all the time.
