The NRL’s official team doctor has today dropped a bombshell revelation.

Speaking exclusively to The Advocate this morning, the doctor explained that the glory days of being a zaddy might be over for Trent Barrett.

This comes after nearly 5ish years of being the NRL’s hottest zaddy, a term given to older men who are sexually attractive or charismatic.

However, it appears as thought Barrett’s rizz may soon disappear, if he keeps going the way he’s going.

“If he locks in at the Eels, it’s going to bad, bad news for his aesthetic,” explained the doctor.

“That club, will chew you up and spit you out like a snus under the top lip of a rookie.”

“Look at Brad Arthur for example.”

“That bloke had a full head of hair before he took over the head coaching role at the Eels.”

“I’m not sure what it is about the Eels that does it to people, but it’s definitely something to do with the fact that they are destined never to win another premiership again.”

“It does something to a man’s body. It ages him, and saps him.”

“If you’ve watched Lord of The Rings, think about it like that potion that Grima Wormtongue gives to King Theoden.”

“Every little flick pass, every little spray at the ref from one of your players, every little knock on in the play the ball when you are 5 metres out, every time a winger shoots out of the line and creates an overlap.”

“It saps the life out of you.”

“Already Trent’s hair follicles are starting to wither and recede underneath the skin.”

The Doctor said that there is no treatment for being the coach of Parramatta, but he and his staff will be doing the best they can to keep an eye on him.

More to come.


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