EFFIE BATEMAN Lifestyle Contact

A Betoota Heights high school student has found herself unable to play netball for the sixth week in a row, by what could be considered a rather alarming endocrinological disorder – she’s got her damn period again!

Lindsay Mizzi [15] is said to have suffered from an irregular menstrual cycle just two weeks into the new term, as the group sport went from track and field, to netball. A sport, Lindsay says, brings out the worst in people.

“Netball is quite literally torture”, Lindsay says The Advocate, “can you really blame me for not wanting to have my head torn off by the sporty girls every time I miss the ball?”

“If you suck at sports in highschool, you may as well be an outcast.”

Though Lindsay agrees that PE is a good idea in theory, she finds herself living in fear of Monday afternoons, causing her to pinball between ‘forgetting her gym clothes’ or bleeding. 

“I did try the ‘I’ve forgotten my hat’ trick but the teacher started bringing a spare one.”

“So now I’ve had to up the stakes.”

“I know she knows I’m lying.”

“But honestly, a strained relationship with a PE teacher is better than getting screamed at by people who take Netball way too seriously.”

“I have to look after my mental health.” 

More to come.


Please enter your comment!
Please enter your name here