ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact

A local meat axe who was already four schooners deep by the time The Advocate newsroom walked into the Royal Lord Commercial Hotel in the French Quarter has remarked that South Australian Premier, Steve Bracks, is a “bit of a unit”.

The man asked our reporter to refer to him only as Meat Axe as he refused to identify himself.

“I reckon he’d love a pint of Coopers,” said Meat Axe.

“He just has that look about him. Like he’d wake up at the end of the line on the O-Bahn with no phone, no wallet, no keys and his shoes undone and stolen off his feet. A real Corporate Johnny gone wild. Like that ‘Big Rig’ down in Victoria. I reckon he’d be a menace on the grog. Like taking his shoes off on Collins Street to throw at taxis that refuse to pick him up and stuff,”

“Anyway, how the fuck are ya?”

When asked by our reporter who he thought the Premier of South Australia was, Meat Axe said it was the man in the baggy suit and the glasses.

“I forgot his name. A Queenslander should never know who the South Australian Premier is, anyway. It’s not natural. New South Wales, sure. Because we hate them. South Australia? Yeah, I get it. Churches and weird murders. They are strange people and I’m glad a desert separates us.”

Meat Axe said he knew who a few state leaders were but not as many as he did a few months ago.

“The Tasmanian is the redheaded guy who’s dead, isn’t it? Who cares. Western Australia is that, ah, his name’s Mark but yeah, yawn. I dunno, I reckon things are going back to normal, I reckon.”

More to come.


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