EFFIE BATEMAN Lifestyle Contact

A Brisbane cougar with a penchant of beef bearded blokes is in her element today after finding herself drunkenly wandering into the woodchopping competition to cop an eyeful of some ‘hunk a spunks.’

Despite never previously showing the tiniest bit of interest in anything ‘masculine’, Glenda Combs [49] had leapt at the chance to watch six foot men with large rippling muscles swing their axe into tree trunks, letting out the occasional ‘woo’ when one of them hacked off a big chunk – a series of woos that were partly due to the staggering amount of sauv blanc she’d ‘tasted’ at the Woolies pavilion.

Watching the entire competition with the ferocity of a boomer waiting for their overdue meal at a restaurant, Glenda was seen grinning from ear to ear as man after man paraded around with their revealing tank tops, practically swooning when two blokes double teamed a particularly large tree trunk.

Glenda was later seen looking disappointed when the competition finally wrapped up but found some new purpose after catching wind of the nearby sheep shearing.

More to come. 


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