WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet |CONTACT

The government is under fire today, after a senseless decision to shut down one of the most successful public health policies in recent history.

Barely 2 years after the spicy cough app was introduced to great fanfare, the new government has decided to retire the tracing mechanism.

Only costing $75,000 a month to keep running, and 10 million dollars to make, the app was hailed as a godsend to help people keep on top of their close contacts.

Coupled with just a few million worth of advertising, the incredibly cost efficient app managed to pick up a staggering 17 close contacts in it’s life time.

Average just a tick over a million per close contact, the new federal government is facing question as to why it has decided to get rid of the app that indentified a whole BBQ worth of contacts.

“We understand the incredibly important value of the app, but we think we can build and maintain an even more cost efficient app,” explained a spokesperson for the government.

“We’ve narrowed down the list of companies with close associations to Labor powerbrokers to just 3, so we are going to wait and see who can line the most pockets to create a new app which will have the functionality of something built by a Year 11 IT Student.”

“Exciting times ahead.”

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