ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact
The warm fuzzy feeling that Simon Clarke was supposed to get when his boss told him, ‘you’re doing a real good job by starting early,’ has been predictably vacant.
He was the only person dressed in a suit this morning as he rode the D45 into the Financial District from his seemingly overpriced and filthy French Quarter off-the-plan apartment.
That wasn’t a good sign, he thought.
The 31-year-old told The Advocate that he was the only person in the office today, which gave him the rare privilege of taking two hours for lunch and the ability to walk around the office without shoes on.
“Doing the latter would’ve put my head on the chopping block,” he said.
“But as I’m alone today in the office, it’s basically mufti day. As fun as it is to break arbitrary workplace rules, I can’t help but feel cheated today,”
“All of my mates are still out on the coast. Mate, even the fucking coffee shop downstairs doesn’t reopen until the 8th. And for some reason, the Betoota Stock Exchange is open for trading today. Any bets on what the volume will be today? I reckon we won’t even crack a mil today in turnover. Waste of time if you ask me.”
From there, the private asset manager said he’d be taking things quite easy this afternoon.
He plans to field calls from the elderly white men who’ve entrusted Clarke to manage their portfolios, telling them that cryptocurrencies are just a fad and that they should keep their faith in the ASX 200.
More to come.
