ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact

Deputy Prime Minister Barnaby Joyce is set to be on thin ice over at cousin Alan Joyce’s place this week after breaking wind repeatedly in front of his snooty art guests.

The Qantas CEO has agreed to invite him over again but asked him firmly to excuse himself from the room if he needs to let out some gut breeze.

“Everybody knows Barnaby loves his ska music, jeans and felt hats. Back in Dublin, we used to call them rudeboys. Well, I’ll tell you fooken what, Barnaby isn’t a bloody rudeboy, he’s a crude boy,” said Joyce to our reporter in Brisbane Airport’s Chairman’s Lounge this afternoon.

“I had him over for dinner with some of my friends from the MCA and Barnaby just stood there at the edge of the circle, peeling the label off his beer and breaking wind. He thought we couldn’t hear him. Helen fooken Keller would’ve heard him break wind and the stench would’ve brought a tear to her eye,”

“Anyway, he’s coming over to meet some of my airline friends this Friday. He’s on thin fooken ice. If I walk in the room and he’s chatting away to my friend Greg from Air New Zealand and Greg’s got his pocket square over his nose like a TV detective that’s just found a decomposing body, he’s done,”

“He might be my fooken cousin but you need to draw a line somewhere. Especially with family.”

The Advocate reached out to Mr Joyce’s office for comment but has yet to receive a reply.

More to come.


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