Remembering The Queen: She Survived WWII, The IRA, The Sex Pistols… But Boris Was Too Much
CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT
Queen Elizabeth II has died at the age of 96, Buckingham Palace has announced.
In even more shocking news: her eldest son, Charles, is now King.
Buckingham Palace released a statement just after 6:30pm on Thursday local time (3:30am Friday AEST), confirming the Queen had died at her Balmoral estate in the Scottish Highlands.
The next in line to the throne,...
Local Bloke Finally Able To Desecrate Neighbour’s Hedges In Peace After News Of Grimshaw’s Retirement
EFFIE BATEMAN | Lifestyle | ContactThe nation’s hellish neighbours and reckless hoons have been spotted celebrating today, as news spread that Tracy Grimshaw would be leaving A Current Affair after spending 17 years conducting investigations on bogans.
Though this decision has been sad news to many who’d grown up with Grimshaw, there are plenty of people coming out of the woodwork to rejoice the...
Airline Posting Massive Losses Can Somehow Still Afford Giant Salaries And Bonuses For Executives
WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | Contact
The nation's favourite airline has today confirmed that times have been tough over the last few months and years.
Qantas and its subsidiary Jetstar have fronted the media this morning claiming the company has posted a massive loss of $860 million - which has absolutely nothing to do with offsetting the massive profits they are about to rake...
Local Tailender Drops A Grand On New Bat
ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact
A local number 9 batsman has walked out of Wilson Sporting Goods on Mitchell Avenue a thousand dollars lighter after he simply couldn’t walk past this season’s offerings from Kookaburra.
Though he barely averages double figures, Michael Plug told The Advocate that the blame for that lies in his poor choice of bat last season – prompting him to make the...
Coles Unveil New Ad Campaign Showing How You Can Feed The Family For Under 10 Dollars
WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet |CONTACT
The nation's second-biggest supermarket cartel has today hit the airwaves with a fresh new ad campaign.
Set amidst soaring cost of living pressures, Coles has called upon their old faithful Curtis Stone to reinvigorate dinner time around the nation.
Cashing in on 'global and local pressures' the supermarket has re-hashed its famous 'Feed The Family For Under $10'...
Local Snake Just Catching Up With His Mate’s Girlfriend
MOYRA BRICK | Relationships | Contact
A reader wrote to The Advocate earlier this week asking what he should do about a local snake repeatedly catching up with his partner.
While he didn’t want to appear petty and overly-protective, he also didn’t like the fact it was happening.
Sam Toole, 25, revealed in his letter to our reporters that this has been going on for some time.
“I just...
Local Bachelor Freshens Up 3 Day Old Tikka Masala with Healthy Squirt of Sweet Chilli Sauce
KEITH T. DENNETT | New South | CONTACT
One of Betoota’s longest serving bachelors is spicing things up in the kitchen tonight, as he looks to revitalise some leftovers from the weekend.
After spending 40 minutes swiping through his options on a food delivery app, it’s believed local Insurance salesman Caleb Webber (29) was forced to eat-in, after realising he had less than $8...
FinTech Entrepreneur Declares Bankruptcy After Wild Success Of ‘Buy Now Pay Never’ Finance App
RORY SALAZAR | Finance | CONTACT
FinTech entrepreneur Mr Eric Goyer (33), CEO and Founder of the innovative Buy Now Pay Never (BNPN) financial technology App ‘PayNada’, which he got off the ground using his own money, has sensationally declared bankruptcy today.
This comes after the BNPN App, the first and last of its kind, saw millions of consumers sign up as soon as...
Local Landlord Furious He’s Gonna Have To Chip In And Help Tennants Pay His Mortgage
WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet |CONTACT
A Betoota Grove couple has today hit out at the Reserve Bank of Australia, the rental market, and the nation more generally.
After receiving a letter from the bank regarding their mortgage repayments, Gary and Belinda Sponge have given a rather angry interview to The Advocate today.
"This isn't how this is supposed to work," said a furious...
Report: This Bloke Had A Lot Of Jobs For Someone Who Hated Doing Any Actual Work
WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet |CONTACT
The scandal involving Scott Morrison and the Governor General is deepening by the hour, with fresh revelations about the pair's behaviour.
Less than 24 hours after news broke that Side Hustle Scotty had been up to some questionable things behind closed doors, it can now be confirmed that the former PM made himself the minister of 5 different...
