In some news out of Europe today, it has been officially confirmed that Rural Victoria’s bid to host the 2026 Winter Olympics has failed.

In some sad news for the struggling regional economy, the bid to host the pinnacle of winter sports came a close second behind the Milan and Cortina d’Ampezzo proposal.

Milan earned 47 votes from the International Olympic Committee membership, beating Rural Victoria’s 42 and Stockholm’s 34 votes.

The spearhead of the bid to host the Winter Games in the Southern State, Barry Welch said he was sad and disappointed they couldn’t quite get the tender over the line.

“Obviously, we are all disappointed,” said Welch today.

“It was an audacious bid, to get the games to one of the ice capitals of the world, and it would have been an incredible boost for the economy down here,” he said.

“But we’ve lost to the home of fashion, so we won’t be bringing the world to the home of the Glass Barbie.”

Welch explained that as part of the bid they were planning to take a couple of events to places like Mandurah, Wellington and St George, in what he says would have been great for the country in general.

“Yeah, there’s enough ice in some of those places to host 15 Alpine skiing events but it’s not to be,” he said.

“Ah well, seeing as we couldn’t get the bid of the ground and there’s no point of having all these methamphetamines, maybe we should do something about getting rid of all the ice then.”

“Rather than just arresting small-time dealers and pawns in industrial parks and pretending that a police crackdown will solve the entire raft of socioeconomic issues that contribute to the ice epidemic across the country.”

“something to think about I guess.”


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