A high-energy online sales professional is today holding court in a friend’s living room, as the girls take a brief sabbatical from rosè to focus on ‘the only alcohol that is a stimulant’.

“All other types of drinks are like sedatives” says Holly, who is back on her bullshit this week after panicking and breaking up with her dream guy after two months of emotional dependance.

“Tequila is the only upper!”

According to the world’s Holly’s – unlike other forms of alcohol, tequila is not a depressant. In other words, it tequila is the only alcoholic drink that’s a stimulant, not a depressant.

However, this theory goes against basic science that shows Tequila is most often made at a 38–40% alcohol content (76–80 proof), but can be produced between 31 and 55% alcohol content (62 and 110 proof). Its active ingredient is ethanol and ethanol is a known central nervous system depressant. As opposed to stimulating your brain, ethanol instead depresses it, causing lowers inhibitions and of course pleasure – meaning the claim that Tequila is a stimulant is nothing more than something girls named Holly say when they wanna ramp the party up a couple notches.

Despite this, Holly proudly stands by her disproven general knowledge and begins topping up the shot glasses.

At time of press, Holly was seen explaining to the girls that it’s much harder to green out if you only drink beer after smoking weed, as opposed to before hand.

“Before for grass, you’re on your arse” she winks.

“Grass before beer, you’re in the clear”


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