ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact

One Nation senator Malcolm Roberts has been wearing tissue boxes on his feet for nearly 6 months, he says, in an effort to keep the deadly Pangolin’s Revenge at bay.

Though his native Queensland was barely affected by the pandemic, he wasn’t prepared to take any chances.

He spoke candidly to our reporter via telephone today where he let out a few secrets to outsmarting the virus.

“You see, I’ve done my own research and the germs actually enter your body through your feet,” he said.

The senator then sneezed six times in a row.

“Sorry. But have you ever wondered how dirty shoes must be? They are constantly in contact with ground. As it turns out, shoes are covered in germs,”

“What were we talking about again? Oh yeah, the tissue boxes. Did you get the pictures I sent you?”

Our reporter indicated that he did.

“Good, well you can see my feet are nice and clean. They’re clean, which has kept me safe this whole time. Because the germs come in through your feet,”

“Can you send me photos of your feet in some tissue boxes? I’d actually love that.”

Our reporter said that would be no problem.

More to come.


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