ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact

Though the game shrunk by more than half last year, Rugby Australia’s star marketing pigeon is in line for a bonus this year after rating himself 98 per cent in a 2019 performance measure.

It was a tough year for Marketing Pigeon, who was thrust into the role by socks-down country boy Chris Latham after former Nationals leader Barnaby Joyce trapped and ate the original marketing pigeon.

However, the flying rat prevailed.

Mr Pigeon is in line for a $25 000 performance bonus, which he will put into a term deposit until the next Rugby World Cup. He plans to travel over for it, wherever it is this time around, with six mates from his local private boarding school.

However, the 98 per cent performance rating has attracted criticism from a number for former Wallabies who say given the current state of the game, nobody should be taking bonuses.

Local Wallaby and Royal Betoota PGA professional Jason Little, who hoisted the Web-Ellis Trophy in 1991, explained to The Advocate that it’s not a good look.

“You don’t have to be Peter Fitzsimmons to see that taking a bonus for doing a pretty average job isn’t a good look, considering the game’s about as healthy as toad-necked diabetic New Yorker right now,” he said.

“But what do I know? I’m just a polite Queenslander who was lucky enough to get picked to play for the Wallabies. Seriously, though. They never pick Queenslanders for the green and gold anymore. I don’t know what’s the worse crime here.”

The Advocate reached out to Rugby Australia for comment but none of the over-payed remora fish at the top of the organisation could find the time to reply.

More to come.


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