Following the horrific incident in Sydney’s CBD earlier this week, the nation has been left wondering if the versatile milk crate might come in handy in helping to prevent tragedies in the future.

After the death of a young woman and the injury of another at the hands of an angry young man who appeared to have serious mental health issues, the nation is hoping that the milk crate used to foil the attacker can be used to fix the systematically fucked mental health system, appaling rate of violence against women and John: 87-era stigmatisation of the sex industry in Australia.

Tuesday’s tragedy follows the death of 31 other women who were killed by violence this year, which is 27 more than the number of people who have been killed in terrorist incidents since Turnbull became Prime Minister.

The death also follows findings that 1 in 3 women in Australia have experienced physical violence and 1 in 5 have experienced sexual violence.

However, given that it’s not a hot button race-baiting issue like terrorism, these terrible and terrifying acts aren’t categorised as national priorities and don’t require a war against them apparently – leaving the nation praying that maybe the humble milk crate can sort everything out.

The request for help has also been extended from the sex industry, who are hoping the stigmatisation, lack of regulation, and disrespect for the workers can be solved by a couple of milk crates in the right hands.

There’s is also reportedly hope being held out that the milk crate can help prevent lives lost to a raft of mental health issues (from far more than just violence), all of which are woefully underfunded by successive governments because there’s very little political point scoring to be had there.

The Advocate contacted Prime Minister Scott Morrison to ask whether he would be keen on helping the milk crate out in any way, shape or form prevent the deaths of people as a result of systematic flaws within Australia’s health, legal and societal system and were told he couldn’t really talk at the moment due to the summit in Tuvalu.

“Haha, how good were the pommie milk crates guys! I saw them on the Today show wearing their branded t-shirts. Good to see some young blokes having a go” he said before giving the phone back to his advisor and continuing in his quest to not be accosted by Jacinda Ardern.


Please enter your comment!
Please enter your name here