SEB SEABASS| Game Day | Contact

The Son of God, Jesus Christ, has put controversial code-hopping sportsball player Israel Folau on blast today saying he doesn’t even play rugby league, his father’s favourite winter game.

Mr Christ said he was saddened by what the 30-year-old had said about the QUILTBAG (Queer/Questioning, Undecided, Intersex, Lesbian, Trans (Transgender/Transsexual), Bisexual, Asexual, Gay/Genderqueer) community in the past but Israel’s most recent effort has gone beyond the pale.

The Advocate spoke briefly to Jesus as he visited Earth, a large antfarm his Father built about ten thousand years ago, as he went about purchasing some grey market cigarettes to take back to heaven.

While critical of Folau on the whole, Mr Christ saved some venom especially for his choice to forsake league for clip-clopping riding boot pleasuredome of union.

“Who likes rugby union? No cunt, that’s the answer,” said a visibly-intoxicated Jesus.

“I don’t know why he feels that entitled. To speak for me and so on. He’s putting words in my mouth. All that stuff I said back then was taken out of context, anyway. Do what you want, just have a heart of gold and my uncle, Saint Peter, will probably let you in if you haven’t had too many,”

“Just remember. If you want to cut to the front of the line to heaven, make sure you die wearing your club jersey. We won’t even charge you a cover.”

“See you all in heaven.”

More to come.


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