The mouth-breathing working class morons who play that neckless brand of ‘sportsball’ for a living have been advised today that if they want to behave however they want, they should become darlings of the arts.

This news follows today’s ruling that actor Geoffrey Rush has had a substantial win in the defamation case he launched against Sydney newspaper the Daily Telegraph.

The 67-year-old sued the paper after they accused him of behaving inappropriately towards a female cast member during the 2015-16 Sydney Theatre Company (STC) run performance of King Lear.

During a three-week trial in 2018, the paper argued a defence of truth based on the testimony of Eryn Jean Norvill, who testified that Rush had behaved in a way that would warrant immediate suspension in the NRL, as well as a hefty fine and possible criminal charges, because tattooed men who say the word ‘youse’ are much more likely to have done something like this than ‘Our Geoffrey.’

Handing down the judgement on Thursday afternoon, Federal Court Justice Michael Wigney found in Rush’s favour and said Nationwide News had failed to make out its truth defence because the inner-city leftie boomers that testified in defence of Rush were much more reliable than the unlisted female actress who claimed to have been harrassed.

NRL players across all clubs have today been urged to wear eccentric suits in public and try their best to become a hot topic of conversation in the Terrace House dining rooms of Balmain and South Yarra.

“We’ve been told to pretend to act like a cheeky multimillionaire thespian” said an anonymous rugby league player who was recently dropped from a prominent Sydney club and fined $100,000 for being accused of doing much less than what Norvill has alleged of Rush.

“Our managers have told us to make better decisions about who we hang out with, they want more Bill Henson, less Russel Crowe”

“I’ve got dinner with Bob Carr booked in this week, whoever that is.”

“They are making me pose for the Archibalds”


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