ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact

A surprisingly-popular surgeon at Betoota Base Hospital has told reporters today that he hasn’t really got a God complex – that the complex he has in more of a Jesus-type one.

Dr Brian Sinclare, a cardiovascular mechanic who’s known around the country’s medical fraternity for having lots of his research and articles published in some reputable peer-review journals, explained that many in the community think surgeons are fuckwits until they need them.

It’s a stereotype he wants to change.

“Look, I don’t think I’m that good of a surgeon, I’ve still got much to learn,” he said.

“But I’ve saved a few lives, fucked a few of them, too. But that’s the risk you take, that’s why I’ve got insurance. That’s why the coroner exists. Death comes part and parcel with medicine. We surgeons go to war against death everyday,”

“I wouldn’t say I’ve got a God complex. Many of my colleagues do, though. I’d say I’ve got more of a self-loathing, humble, Jesus-type one. Like I know I’m on a mission and I’ve got a cause to fight for but I’d still wash a some tramp’s feet if they asked me. Put the blame on me because ultimately, I’m the one responsible. And if I could, I’d turn saline into a nice 2010 Coonawarra whenever the feeling hit me.”

A member of Dr Sinclare’s support staff echoed his bosses sentiments, telling The Advocate that the South Betoota Polytechnic School of Medicine Associate Fellow often talks to his team like they’re real people and not just some expendable commodity.

Recounting one example when Dr Sinclare offered the use of his late model BMW coupe to the man for a date.

“He’s got an M3 that he parks on the far side of the carpark so other people less mobile than him can park closer to the door,” he said.

“One night before I left, I told him I was going on a date and he asked if I’d like to borrow the Beamer for the evening to impress. He was very insistent but I can’t drive manual because I’m useless [laughs] No Dr Sinclare is really nice and he puts himself last all the others,”

“Nice guy.”

More to come.


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