In some breaking news from the nation’s capital, the Federal Government has made it’s yearly promise to do more than just talking about doing better on the Close The Gap scheme.

Speaking yesterday at Parliament House, Prime Minister Scott Morrison made the commitment to make a commitment to do something on the scheme that has failed to meet its targets year on year for over a decade, with lip service paid to the issue on an annual press conference basis.

Surprisingly, the Prime Minister admitted that the government had been going about the scheme the wrong way, by failing to properly consult with Indigenous Australians on how to successfully achieve the targets from 2008.

This nod to the fact that it’s probably better to consult the people who are directly affected by the issue rather than hand consultancy jobs out to upper-middle-class white city bureaucrats who work in the CBD, is hoped will achieve something more, but unfortunately, hasn’t opened up any new funding.

“Yeah, I guess all of these protests this year have kind of reminded us that we probably shouldn’t just sit back, verbally acknowledge there is an issue, promise to do something about it, not do anything and then rinse and repeat on a yearly basis,” said Morrison this morning.

“So we’ve refreshed the targets,” explained the Prime Minister who was suspiciously quiet on funding related to any of the new targets, which activists and experts have time after time, have said, is a crucial step to addressing the issues at hand.

“Money’s tight at the moment,” explained the man 30 million or so a year for an empty detention centre, billions for some new submarines that would give us an extra couple of days against China, and plenty of other things that are political enough issues to warrant dumping stacks of cash into without any questions asked.

“Alright, that’ll do? Talk to you again next time.”


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