Local club DJ and occasional club promoter, DJ Screwy, has today suffered a fate worse than living in Sydney as a club DJ.

It appears a combination of innocent mistakes led to a potential on the spot sacking from his role as resident DJ at the Hemmes-owned nightclub ‘The Snapped Banjo’ in Betoota’s premier nightlife district, Roma Hills.

Midway through last night’s set, Crewy was reportedly at the bar ordering one of his 4 x complimentary vodka sunrises, when he heard the terrifyingly dulcet tones of R Kelly.

Now usually I don’t do this but uh” rang out through the venue.

Screwy, immediately remembering he’d forget to update his playlist to remove this week’s list of problematic artists, began to rush towards the unattended DJ decks.

While pushing through the-not-yet-disgusted dance floor, the 34-year-old curator of good times was seen shouting hysterically for help as the song played the bit about about where he’s tryna get a girl to a hotel.

“NO NO NO NO NO!!!!” he shouted.


“Someone pull the cord!”

Caught in a moshpit, there was very little Screwy could do, as he realised the patrons weren’t exactly vacating the floor as he thought they would, because they were drunk and couldn’t remember who sang this song.

“Help!!!” he shouted to a shocked glassy who was discreetly stealing cigarettes from his packet next to the decks.

Luckily, Screwy was able to make to the desk just before R Kelly asked baby to give him that toot toot. Pressing ‘next’ immediately to play Chris Brown – These Hoes Ain’t Loyal.

“Phewww” he said.


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